It can be argued that a woman would be better off as the 20th wife of a very wealthy man than as the only wife of a pauper. And because human children need so much parental assistance, protection and investment, humans, perhaps more than any other animal, especially benefit from monogamy.
Perhaps what makes human beings special is our ability to do things like monogamy that are socially imposed. There have been related shifts in living arrangements from extended to nuclear families, and with increasing numbers of people living alone and not having children. Increasing gender equality is a further shift which has a huge impact on how we now conduct relationships.
The internet too raises new questions around what counts as sexual or emotional fidelity. With new technology there has been a proliferation of forms of open non-monogamy: hook-up culture, friends with benefits, monogamish relationships, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, to name but a few.
Turning to psychological elements, we find that people experience their relationships in a diversity of ways, even within one culture or community. Ask people their reasons for getting married, or swinging, or having an affair, and you will get a wide range of responses. For example, some openly non-monogamous people emphasise their individual freedom or hedonistic pleasure; some have political reasons to do with the patriarchal and capitalist history of monogamous marriage; some feel it is an inherent part of their being, akin to a sexual identity; some wish to connect with multiple people, to find a sense of belonging, or to avoid the risks inherent in pressurising one relationship to meet all of their needs.
Instead we should turn our attention to the diversity of ways in which humans connect, and ask ethical questions about how we relate to each other in a world of ever-changing relationship rules. They have also written a number of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own research and therapeutic practice.
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address. Become a Patron! Sex ed via Blurred Lines. What do you think? Is monogamy natural for you? They even the playing field between all students but may limit creative learning and evaluate teachers unfairly. Does higher education still live up to its mission of imparting knowledge and molding the future?
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